Adventures in Annoying the Millefiore
by Blood Rose Vampiress
Summary: You've seen the list of ways to annoy the Millefiore in my other fic, now it's time to try some of the them out! Watch as the Millefiore struggle to keep there sanity - and marshmallows - in these mini-fics. Crack.
1. The Great Marshmallow Incident  Part 1

**A/N:** Well, as you read in the description, these mini fics are what happens if someone actually tries one or more of the listed ideas in _How to Annoy the Millefiore._ This will make no sense if you haven't already read that.

This is chapter one in _The Great Marshmallow Incident_ series. There will be one more chapter to this, telling what happens after, and if people like it I'll do more. Also, note that Byakuran will be rather OOC. Enjoy!

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><p>1. Tell him all the marshmallows in the world disappeared, and it's impossible to make more unless all red-heads die.<p>

2. Tell him you know a special way to make them without red-heads dying, and say you'll only do it if he sits through five hours each of _Barney _and _Sesame Street._

3. Laugh when he does so and tell him crazy psychopaths don't get marshmallows.

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><p><em><strong>How to Annoy the Millefiore: The Great Marshmallow Incident<strong>_

**Part 1**

"Byakuran-sama," Gamma said casually, walking up to where his boss was standing in the hall, looking out the window to where he was supervising the planting of new flowers in the Millefiore garden. Or stalking Shouichi, who was one of the ones doing the planting. Yeah, most likely stalking Shouichi.

"Yes, Gamma-kun?" Byakuran murmured, managing to tear one eye away from that perfectly rounded ass, that was currently stuck in the air as the fake sun funeral wreath leaned down to pick up something he'd dropped.

"All the marshmallows in the world disappeared, and it's impossible to make more unless all red-heads die," Gamma stated, keeping a straight face. He really should be hired to be an FBI agent.

Silence.

Utter silence.

Gamma had to close his eyes and open them twice, then pinch himself to make sure Byakuran was still indeed standing in front of him and hadn't fainted into a pile of misery on the floor. Two more minutes and he probably would, judging from that death-pale face that matched the color of his evil-albino hair on his evil-albino head. Gamma suddenly wondered what color Byakuran was _down there_. Oh well, he wasn't desperate enough to try and find out. Maybe he'd pay someone to do it for him. Or just ask Genkishi to find out, since he doubted the illusionist would need any money to convince him. Gamma shook his head in revulsion. But anyway, back to Byakuran who was still standing there, his mouth opening and closing silently like a puppet as he tried in vain to get words out. Probably couldn't find any to express the anguish he felt.

"Tell… me… you're… joking…"

Gamma sighed. Seriously? When did he _ever_ joke? But instead of telling Byakuran of that, he decided to just get on with it, since he didn't have all day to spend here. He needed to bathe and polish his pool stick. Then tuck it in for the night.

"No, I'm not joking." The blond crossed his arms over his chest and stared deeply into Byakuran's eyes, which he just realized, were a rather nice shade of purple. No, not the point here!

"Please… is there… any other… way…?" The all-great Millefiore leader looked like he was going to have a heart attack right on the plush purple carpet with white polka dots and the random chibi dragon.

That really wouldn't be good for Gamma's reputation. Although he finally would have completed his goal of getting rid of the albino…

No, his reputation came first. A full-on bloody battle would get him much more points.

"Well… there is _one_ way," Gamma replied, and watched as Byakuran's eyes lit up in pure delight.

"What? What is it? Tell me now!" The evil albino grabbed Gamma's hands tightly, practically in his face. Ew. He'd have to make sure to wash with extra anti- germ soap later.

"Well, it goes like this…."


	2. The Great Marshmallow Incident Part 2

_**How to Annoy the Millefiore: The Great Marshmallow Incident **_

**Part 2**

And thus, that was how Byakuran ended up sitting in front of a tv screen Thursday morning (or perhaps it was Sunday morning, Byakuran never bothered to check. Hell, maybe it wasn't even morning at all, the curtains were closed so it wasn't easy to tell) watching a purple obviously pedophile dinosaur "play" with little kids. Really, why the hell wasn't this rated R? Oh, right, because some dimwit parents somehow thought letting their children run around with a purple dinosaur was safe... even Byakuran knew better.

The albino sighed, automatically reaching his hand over to the built-in bowl on the arm of the couch, only to find it empty. Oh, right. That was the reason he was doing this, to get his precious little babies, AKA marshmallows, back. According to Gamma, who really shouldn't be trusted because it was well known that he hated Byakuran, even Byakuran knew that, all marshmallows had disappeared and it was impossible to make more until all redheads died.

Which would mean his precious Sho-chan would have to die.

And Zakuro.

No, he really didn't give a damn about Zakuro.

But Sho-chan! No, there was no way his little Sho-chan could die!

But... his marshies...

Luckily for him (lucky because it prevented him from having a heart attack on the plush purple carpet with the random chibi dragon?), Gamma had another solution! After watching five hours each of Barney and Sesame Street, more marshmallows could somehow be made!

IT WAS A MIRACLE!

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family," Byakuran automatically sang along with Barney and "friends" at the end of the final hour of Barney. Thank God - oh right, he himself was the God... so he could thank himself that it was over? Byakuran patted himself on the back in thanks.

Five hours down, five more to go, this time of Sesame Street. How in the world Gamma managed to get his hands on five hour long tapes of each was totally beyond this albino. Who in their right minds would want to watch five minutes of this let alone five hours? Oh, people were strange creatures indeed. Not including himself, of course.

The evil albino stiffled a yawn, leaning back on the couch as the Sesame Street theme song started playing. Damnit, how the hell was he going to stay awake through the next five hours if he didn't have his sweet, squishy, sugary little darlings? This was torture! When he found out who the hell made all the delectable marshies disappear in the first place, would they ever pay! Oh yeah, he could just see it! They'd be sentenced to a life of never even being able to look at the pure white treats! That would show them!

But first, to be able to save his little darlings, he'd have to watch this horrendously trashy show with a big, ugly yellow bird. Yeah, not his cup of tea. He would have much preferred The Big Comfy Couch. At least that was something he could relate to. He patted his couch.

Five minutes into the show he wondered why Burt and Ernie didn't just make out already. It was obvious they had a thing for each other. Oh well, had to be kept clean for the kiddies, he guessed. But Byakuran just knew that behind the screen those two were getting it on. Ew. He really didn't need that mental image. He hugged his big, soft marshmallow plushie for comfort.

Ten minutes into the show, he wondered what the hell had happened to Hibird to make him so damn obnoxious. Oh, must have been puberty. God curse Mother Nature! Oh, right, he was God. He promptly cursed Mother Nature.

Fifteen minutes into the show, the non-hyper, non-scheming albino who didn't come off as too evil anymore without his marshmallows wondered why the hell they chose to make that character, whatever kind of creature he was, all red. Did they run out of paint or something? Or... maybe... could it be? Was he covered in blood? Byakuran's eyes were glued to the screen again and he watched in anticipation for this Elmo guy to fall over dead.

He didn't.

Such a disappointment.

The whole five hours went like that, repeating and repeating, seeing the same annoying characters again and again. When finally, _finally_, the last credits played, Byakuran was so ecstatic he jumped up and hit his head on the chandelier. Oh well, not much damage that could do that he didn't already have.

When Gamma came in a minute later, Byakuran was grinning from ear to ear, looking like an add for shiny teeth despite the ridiculously large bump on his head. "Where are they? Where are my precious babies? I watched five hours of each, so they're back now, right? Give me them!"

Gamma raised an eyebrow, a smirk appearing on his face. The same smirk the wolf had just before it ate Little Red Riding Hood. Byakuran gulped. He was too young to be eaten! He still had a world to take over!

It was then that the most horrifying words that had ever reached the evil genius's sacred ears were spoken.

"Crazy psychopaths don't get marshmallows."

Gamma's hysterical laughter was the last thing he heard before everything went black.


End file.
